Children’s birthday parties can be wonderful, filled with fun, laughter, games & party food (who can resist a chicken nugget or Wotsit!) But if you’re a parent of a child with food allergies, they can also be quite stressful. The worry of cross-contamination or allergic reactions can make it hard to relax.
But with the right planning and communication, you can help them to have fun and stay safe.
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Read on to find out my 6 top tips to manage your child’s food allergies at a birthday party, so parties can be a stress-free experience for you and your little one!
I’ll never forget the mix of emotions when my daughter received her first party invitation from a nursery friend. She was buzzing with excitement, and I was thrilled for her – but then reality hit. Up until then, I had complete control over her meals, carefully managing her allergies.
Now, she’d be eating food I hadn’t prepared, in an environment I couldn’t fully control.
Since that first invitation, she’s been to plenty of birthday parties, and I’ve learned how to navigate them without letting her food allergies hold her back. I want her to enjoy the same experiences as her friends, so I’ve developed strategies to keep her safe and happy.
If you are concerned that your baby may have cow's milk protein allergy, please seek medical advice.
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1. Speak to the host before the party
As soon as you receive the invitation, get in touch with the parent/host of the party. Let them know that your child would love to attend and then explain their allergies. You can ask what the plan for the party is and what food will be served.
If the party is being held at a venue that provides food, check the company’s website for allergen information. Then, ask the host if it’s possible to select a safe meal for your child.
If the host is providing the food themselves, you can discuss your child’s allergies to see if there will be any allergy-safe options in the food they are providing.
Most children’s parties will be nut-free as standard, however, if your child has a life threatening allergy or is at risk of cross-contamination to nuts or another food/allergen, voice your concerns to the host and ask about any potential risks.
In my experience, every parent I’ve approached has been incredibly kind and made sure my daughter had safe food to enjoy.
2. Bring your own food
If your child has severe allergies or you’re uncomfortable with them eating unfamiliar food, bring your own! I’ve done this for many parties, and it’s a great way to give yourself peace of mind.
Speak to the host to find out what food will be served at the party and try to replicate something similar for your child to eat that will be safe for them.
When my little girl was little, she was only allowed Jam on special occasions due to the sugar, so she was always over the moon with her allergy-safe jam sandwiches that I used to take for her at birthday parties!
3. Cake
The main event at a party! Depending on your child’s allergy, they might not be able to have the birthday cake.
If your child only has a nut allergy, speak to the host in advance and find out if they are making the cake themselves or if it is shop-bought. You will then be able to make a decision as to whether it will be safe to eat.
Having a dairy or egg allergy pretty much wipes out being able to have “normal cake”. In this instance, I would advise bringing your own shop bought safe cupcakes or making your own, so they don't miss out on the fun.
I have a great dairy and egg free vanilla cupcake recipe here.
There was one party my daughter went to and the host’s Mother in Law made my little girl her own dairy/egg/nut free victoria sponge full sized cake complete with “Frozen” decorations like the main cake. The gesture was so kind and thoughtful, I almost cried!
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4. Teach Your Child to Say No to Unsafe Food
It’s essential that your child knows to ask an adult whether food is safe before eating it. From a young age, my daughter understood what she could and couldn’t eat. Although you don’t want them to feel different, it’s important they’re aware of their allergies, especially as they get older.
Teach your child to decline food offered by other children or adults without checking with you or the host. This habit is crucial for avoiding accidental exposure to allergens.
5. Offer to stay at the party
For younger kids, most parents stick around during parties anyway, giving you the chance to keep an eye on your child. You can subtly hover around the food table to ensure they don’t eat anything unsafe (I’ve certainly been the helicopter parent!).
Once children reach around age 7, parties can become “drop-off” events, which can be nerve-wracking. In this case, offer to stay and help out at the party – hosts are usually grateful for an extra pair of hands!
If you do need to leave, make sure your child knows to stick to the safe food you’ve provided or discussed. Reconfirm the plan with the host and leave them your contact information & epi-pens just in case.
6. Bring Medicines and Allergy Plans
Leave any medication (anti-histamines/Epi-Pens) with the host and ensure they know when/how to use them in case of an emergency.
We use a Cath Kidston zip bag like this one to keep everything in. It makes things much easier and I just carry it around in my handbag wherever we go.
If you have an allergy action plan for a school or nursery setting you can pop a copy of this in too.
I always reassure the host that I am leaving these just as a precaution and that luckily we have never had to use them, but that it is important just in case.
Hopefully these tips will go some way in helping you to relax and for your little one to enjoy birthday parties.
If you have any other tips, I'd love to hear them in the comments below!
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